WH&E L1 11 : 0 PHC Chiswick W3

Now we know our pushback was 4pm but this report starts much earlier. An early morning discovery that the venue we thought we were going to didn’t have a hockey pitch….so the morning was spent trying to find out where we were going.

Once we worked it out we waited for the match… all day….except for Bethany who went to bottomless brunch (she insists she thought she was just going for breakfast).

Word of the day LOCATION

We arrived and it was getting dark, a team talk emphasised our desire to enjoy ourselves and have some fun after a couple of tough games.

Then the game started, and unlike last week we realised we could actually play hockey. A lot of incredible teamwork, some amazing passing and a press that would make the hockey gods weep… can’t remember the order of them but here’s a rundown of the goals scored:

  1. Shell on a rugby huns short corner sweeping it in from the injector
    2. Shell on a rugby huns short corner sweeping it in from the injector
    3. Shell greedily as captain decided she was taking the penalty flick because “she wanted to score a hattrick”
    4. Shell on a rugby huns short corner sweeping it in from the injector – didn’t have to deny Sam the flick did you Shell?
    5. Beth – a “phantom goal” except both teams went to check to see the ball was in the net to confirm – no confusion there (take note boys)
    6. Beth – a great run, impossible angle and boom passed the keeper
    7. Abbi – a nonchalant tap in from some 1-2ing between Karen and Sam
    8. Abbi – so so casually passed a player then did the same to the oncoming keeper
    9. Abbi – intercepted the ball to take on the keeper again, casual as you like put it past like it was nothing.
    10. Abbi – remembered the need for location – calling at Sam and the perfect moment for a cross, keeper diving outstretched but a lovely lift put it in.
    11. Sam – straight shot from the top of the D on a short.

Some more match highlights

  1. Sam took over the falling over – multiple times
    2. Shell took out their keeper then tried to argue its allowed
    3. Nic didn’t have to touch the ball all game
    4. Shell gave the team talk from the toilet
    5. T left the team talk to get a coffee even though she looked like she’d had 10
    6. Shell walked into glass, no-one was there so she told everyone
    7. T couldn’t quite work out how to get out of Amber’s way.

So to end it all it was dark when we started, even darker when we finished. It rained but we won 11-0 so we were finally allowed the victory haribo Sarah has been saving for God knows how long.

MOTM – everyone because we were amazing
DOTD – Sam and Shell – all was not well in paradise 😂

WH&E M2 3 : 1 West Hampstead M8

A first home game for the Men’s 2s due to teams dropping out of the league and what a game it was! Winchmore having a strong line up with the returning Joe Small and Adam Machray. Lots of good passing and early pressure leading to Tom Pearson’s great flick through the keeper’s legs to make it 1-0. West Hampstead managed to sneak one back on the brink of the half time whistle for the boys to go into the half at 1-1.

A strong second half performance from the 2s with one less substitute. Lots of chances in the D just not managing to win anything or beat the keeper. Tom Pearson, Guy and Theo bossing the midfield worked a lovely dribbling move into the D for Theo to get Winchmore their second!

The final 10 minutes had it all, with a green card and plenty of shots for Winchmore from Tom Pajak, Wayne and Siva, before Tom Pearson and Calum worked a nice ball into the D with Calum’s half volley rattling the inside of the post and going wide.

A short is awarded and the full time whistle goes, so an opportunity for Winchmore to get a 3rd. Joe saw a beauty of a shot blocked from the top of the D, which fell to Guy who rifled one at the keeper only for Calum to get onto the rebound and flick it over the keeper to end the match 3-1!

A well deserved first win from the first home game of the season for the M2s!

WH&E M1 1 : 3 Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts

After last week’s loss, Saturday’s game against Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts (self-proclaimed pub lovers) presented an opportunity for vindication. Not to be I’m afraid.

With captain fantastic away with his Mum in Milan-darling, deputy Dan delivered the dynamic pre-match team talk, whipping the squad into shape.

Listening in, it’s blatantly obvious he’s a PE teacher. Man, what a privilege for all those boys and girls he teaches each week – imagine having Dan-the-Man inspiring you at such a young and formative age! #jealous.

Alas. Despite his perfectly pitched pre-match proclamations he couldn’t break his captaincy duck and orchestrate a win. His 0% win rate as captain continues.

We asked him about it after the game and Dan compared himself to Ollie, “we have very different captaining styles. He wins, I lose.” Awkward. One teammate was even heard to say after the game “I can’t wait to have Ollie back.” Fair. His cross-field squaerials were missed.

If there were video highlights of the game it would be a short watch. Clips of Jake’s stupid green card, Asher’s piddly aerial, two Ham & West goals, and a well-worked-top-of-the-D-screamer from Joe would make up the first half showing. Ask Joe how he felt about his goal…. “I like whacking it off my back foot, they don’t expect it.” He’s an experienced bloke our Joe. Knows a thing or two about whacking balls.

2-1 at the break seemed fair, gave us a solid foundation to work from, and the game was there for the taking. We just needed to grab it by the scruff of the neck! Perhaps the half-time oranges would help? Perhaps another rousing speech from Dan would make the difference? Negative. Not to be.

The second half started with some decent shape and possession and there were points where we looked the better team. Ham & West’s only real chances were gifts from our sloppiness rather than because of their skill. They did sneak another goal, and might have made it 4-1 had a top of the D reverse strike not been saved by one of their own strikers – who wore it on the chest like some sort of madman. No surprise he went down embarrassed, winded, and in some serious pain. He certainly spared Josh any added blushes too.

Dan liked the post-match teas… ”I do quite enjoy the breaded mushrooms. Very crispy. With a nice strong mushroom after- taste.” Good to know. Thanks Captain.

Man of the Match was hard to choose. Joe nabbed it for his goal.

DOTD, a few more contenders. Dan drove into a bollard on arrival…Ollie was off galivanting in Milan, Jack had to borrow shoes, but clearly not enough people were willing to overlook the early green card so Jake was lumped with it again. #whatever.

Next week, Southgate come for a visit to Southbury. Colin will be looking to get back on the scoresheet, Josh will be keen to stay in the umpires’ good books, and Jake will be trying to avoid a hat-trick of DOTDs and match reports. Let’s go the lads.

WH&E L2 0 : 4 Old Uxonians W1

Umpire said it shouldn’t have been 4-0.

Nellie blamed the team.

Umpire blamed Pippa. (She maintains her innocence).

(Nellie volunteered for goalie duty and dived for it. They still scored but a good effort!)

The end.

WH&E M1 1 : 6 Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts

After last week’s great win, the M1s were looking to keep the momentum going and take home 3 points against Hampstead & Westminster Thirsts. It was a sunny Saturday morning in Maida Vale, and we were playing on an excellent pitch with a full squad of 15. So far so good!

We started off well, playing with a high press and held the upper hand in the early exchanges. Some strong tackles in midfield won us possession, but we couldn’t find the final pass to create a meaningful chance in front of goal. The opposition grew more confident as the half went on, starting to pose a few more problems for the M1s defence, and taking the lead after about 15 minutes.

But we kept our heads and went searching for an equaliser, which we thought we’d found. A good attack up the left from Jack Wilson, resulted in the ball popping up off a Thirsts’ player onto another defender’s body, from where it dropped down into the path of Colin Foad who calmly slotted it home. No whistle, no goal. After some discussion between the umpires, they decided on a short corner instead 🤷‍♂️ To make matters worse, the Thirsts promptly scored their second goal on the stroke of half-time.

During the break we decided to play the high press again, as it had worked in the first 15 minutes of the game, and our pressure told with some high turnover ball and a number of chances created. Then, a perfectly executed penalty corner gave Colin the opportunity for a clean strike on goal which evaded the keeper and man on the line to go in. We scored the goal we so desperately needed, 2-1.

But after that, we lost our way – lacking focus to turn the game around and giving the ball away too easily. Hampstead scored again with an outrageous one-handed diving tomahawk to make it 3-1, and then bundled in another easy goal to make it 4-1. Many subs came on and off creating chaos in our midfield and defence, and the opposition made full use of this to score two more goals.

We had a good final 5 minutes but didn’t manage to score again. The match ended in a 6-1 loss, but that didn’t stop us from having a great time in the pub afterwards where we decided to celebrate last week’s win and quickly forget about our defeat!

MOTM: Jake Tasker, for an all round solid display in at least 3 different positions!
DOTD: Josh Rider, for not staying to celebrate his birthday with the team!

WH&E L2 1 : 0 Old Uxonians L1

The team selection was done. The goals were out. The warm up was completed.

We started strong with lovely passing play down the lines and several short corners, but we couldn’t quite find the goal. However, a pass out from defence, the ball was carried towards the D and into Kareen who turned and swept it into the goal. A well-deserved 1-0 half time.

The second half they came out fighting, with swings of sticks flying all over. Some truly terrible 16s from Pip and I meant that Chris had to make some fantastic saves, keeping a clean sheet and saving our bacon several times. The Christmas trees got more frustrated and more physical when they couldn’t get one in the goal, culminating with Pippa getting a stick to the head.

At times we made it hard for ourselves but overall, a well-deserved win.

An extra special thank you to Sam Deane, who came to umpire us on her bye week and ended up umpiring the M2s as well due to Pip’s head injury.

WH&E M2 3 : 1 Ealing M1

No match report from the M2s victory, but we do have this rather nice penalty corner video!


No match this week for the Ladies 1s…

A foggy start for the L2s!

WH&E M1 1 : 1 Hampstead & Westminster “Thirsts”

Hampstead & Westminster made the arduous journey to the London fringes to play the M1s, losing at least one of their players to apparent scurvy on the trip 🤢. Winchmore’s solid play in the first half came quickly to fruition, as Berkshire-lad Colin Foad banged in the side’s first of the season in his first start.

Winchmore stayed resolute, but Hampstead & Westminster thirsted after a goal in the second half and were duly quenched. Final score 1-1.

Adam Machray’s ‘McEnroe’ moment aside, the team can be proud of their sustained performance and the start to the season that they’ve made. Next up is an away game, where the chaps will be seeking to be whopping Wapping.

WH&E M2 4 : 1 Ealing M1

Limited availability, and a late drop-out, left us facing Ealing 1 with just 10 men, and being carved open in the first minute (but an eventual miss in front of goal) promised a worrying game.

However we steadied, and a first half of chances at both ends saw us go in 1-0 ahead, with a nice lift over the keeper from Luke. The start of the second half saw us pressing their defence more, and with turnover ball the midfield, bolstered by Stan and Jake, started to boss things.  A 10 minute spell saw a hat-trick by Theo, and the game put to bed.  The last 25 minutes then got very stretched, with us pressing for more goals leaving more gaps in midfield, and only strong goalkeeping from John stopped them pulling 1, or more, back.  They did score a consolation goal in the 69th minute, but in the end a comfortable 4-1 win.

WH&E L2 0 : 3 Old Uxonians

Another early start and third away match in a row for the ladies 2’s. The team arrived in dribs and drabs due to horrific traffic on the M4 but luckily allowed the gloomy mist to lift.

We definitely applied our Wednesday night training, passing back and around as well as being there to support the person on the ball. However, Old Ux used their wealth of experience and popped one in making it 0-1 at half time.

In the second half we had our chances with a few short corners but we just couldn’t convert. Chris made some wonderful saves, with a hand on a strike, along with some tense moments of 1 v 1 and sometimes even 3 v 1 putting Old Ux at bay. But they managed to add another 2 to their score line.

Again some positive points to take forward to our first home game next week, but still looking for our first win of the season. Fingers crossed!!!!

No game for the Ladies 1s this week